T Party Manifesto

Let me explain.
As said before in this blog, I go the gym several times a week. I usually start off with half an hour's worth of cardio on the elliptical, which I spend trying to talk to my girlfriend, but inevitably wind up trying to make out the blurry text on the twenty or so televisions they have lined up for the purpose of taunting the fat people with images of VH1's 'Whores on Parade'(or whatever they call their shows these days). Because I usually get there after work, I wind up catching the tail end of these awful 'Reality' programs and the start of what some channels call 'News.'
These make me mad.
Or really, they give me headaches. Or rather, the people on them give me headaches. More specifically, the stupid things people say on them give me headaches. Stupid, derogatory, racist, bigoted things people say. Ever try to bench-press with a pressure cooker strapped to your forehead? This is what hearing what dimwitted pundits telling me what to think does to me, actually decreasing my average health levels. They don't seem to take anything but themselves and their self-promoting books and radio programs.
So I've had enough of people who think they take politics seriously. It's time to admit what politics really are: Bullshit.
In honor of that, I urge you to join a political party that really knows what's going on, or at least fakes it really, really well, like a very expensive hooker; The T Party.
Organize events in your neighborhood (using the word 'community' as much as possible) and get together with strangers and loved ones alike to discuss Crimes You Didn't Commit, Soldiers of Fortune, Mohawks, and Custom Painted Vans. Wear your gold chains proud. Sit Nancy Reagan on your lap and ask her what she wants for Christmas. Pride yourself in knowing what it means to be a True American, and punch terrorists and crime syndicates in the face.

There is no agenda, there is no overlaying story or higher cause. All we know is that there are Fools. And they deserve nothing but our pity.